Betas

I had my first beta on Wednesday. At 14dpiui it was 159. I had another beta today and this time it was 528. Its a good doubling time - above average, which means could be twins. The nurse said its more than likely there is 1 healthy baby in there. I will go for a sono in 2 weeks to see what it looks like in there and how many there actually are.

When I was pregnant with Jordyn, I remember my first 2 betas were above average too - all the nurses were sure there was more than 1 baby in there. I can't find the spreadsheet I made with all the numbers from that pregnancy - its on an older computer and I have to dig around. I want to compare this pregnancy's numbers with Jordyn's and see how off it is.

I am still finding it hard to believe I am actually pregnant.

In other news, N's surgery went well and he is recovering on the couch with some good drugs. He's a trooper.

Holy S^@*!!!

I think I am still in shock. I don't even know what to say. After all the past difficulty I can't believe how easy it was this time. I almost still don't believe it. I went and had my first beta today - waiting for the results. Second beta Friday. Holy s^@*!!!

One More Day and Surgery

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I can test. Only one more day of torture. I can't stand it.

In other news, N is having knee surgery today. We've known for awhile it was a possibility, but at his dr appt last Wednesday, they made the final decision. The surgery scheduler was able to get him in today - less than a week from his last appt. I am happy that he's going to get it over and done with, but at the same time we had so much coming up these next few weeks that we now have to cancel, including a much needed date night, seeing Grease at a local theater, and ACL festival (which we have gone to every year since 2004.) I know its more important that he gets better, but I feel slightly bummed that we are missing all those things. Does that make me selfish, or just human?

Wish us luck today with N's surgery, and tomorrow with the dreaded POAS.

Symptoms or all in my head?

I can't figure out if I am having symptoms or if its all in my head. I am so dizzy and tired right now, I feel like I can't even keep my head up. It could also be the prometrium I am taking - it tends to make you a little light headed but this is insane. I am totally freaking out about testing on Wednesday. I bought 2 EPT tests this weekend - 2 for the price of 1. I don't know what to think. As I said before, this has been the longest 2WW ever.

In other news, N is having knee surgery tomorrow. He is totally bummed about it but I am sure it will all work out ok. he is a big baby when he's sick -aren't all men. so it looks like i will be doing everything for a few weeks whihe his is immobile. Hopefullt we'll get some good news on Wednesday.

yikes.

1 week down...

...and 1 to go. This 2WW has been rough. I am only halfway through and it feels like an eternity. Usually my weeks go by pretty quickly but it seems the last week has taken forever! It feels like next Wednesday will never get here. I am terrified to take the HPT. Completely and utterly terrified. One more week of torture and I'll know.

Success?

The IUI was a success. 3 of the 4 follicles had already released, and we had a great sample to inject. Its amazing what adding that enzyme at home can do. The dr said my cervix was very tight, and he had to dilate it to get the catheter in. He has mentioned before this could be a reason we were having so many issues - it wasn't opening enough to get the swimmers in! And since I had a c-section with Jordyn it has never been naturally dilated.

So now we wait. The dreaded 2WW. I know these are going to be the slowest 2 weeks of my life, and I know I am going to analyze every cramp, every ache, every twinge. I wish I had something to distract me these next 2 weeks, but alas, its just me and my tortuted mind.

Nervous

IUI today. I am so f-ing nervous. I am trying to not be stressed because I know stress doesn't make babies, but I just can't help it. I want so much for this to work but deep down I am so afraid it won't.

Fertile Myrtle

Well it would appear that I am extremely fertile. I had my follicle study this morning and I have a total of 4 ripe follicles (2 on each side), all between 21 and 24mm. My lining was 8.4, and all appears well for a good cycle. I was given the HCG shot to release the eggs, and sent home with my little jar and enzyme from the lab. IUI scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.

I am not naive. I have been here before. Many times. I have had many ripe follicles, many linings that were more than favorable, many good cycles that ended up with negative HPTs and betas. I have every reason to be positive, but that little devil inside me is telling me not to get my hopes up. I just want this to be easy this time around. Please, please, please.

Round 2

Well, here goes. Let the flood gates open. We have officially started the path towards baby #2. Dear God, I hope it doesn't take another 7 years to get this baby. I am more hopeful as this time, we know the issues and we are working with the doctor to tackle them head on. When we found our fabulous doctor, we tried many things each cycle to try and achieve a positive result. We started with pills, then added a boost injection, then just strictly injections. We did single IUIs, back to back IUIs and sperm enzyme addition. The cycle I got pregnant with Jordyn, we did injections with back to back IUIs, and added an enzyme to the sperm jar at home, and I took prometrium after the HCG injection. Its amazing we didn't get multiples because I had 7 ripe, enormous follicles. This time, we decided to be slightly more conservative because I would like to avoid multiples, simply because I am afraid my body couldn't handle it. Being a kidney transplant patient, I am high risk anyway, so adding the stress of multiple babies would add stress to my body and make me even more high risk. We decided to start with pills, do a follicle study and from there, decide on 1 or 2 IUIs.

Today is cycle day 7. I took 5mg of Femara starting on CD3 and finished today. I have been feeling OK - the Femara doesn't have near the amount of side effects as Clomid, but I have been getting headaches. Other than that, I feel great. I will go to the dr on Tuesday for a follicle scan - this will be CD13. If the follicles look good and the lining looks good, I will get an HCG injection to release the egg(s) and then get sent home with my jar-in-a-bag and enzyme, and schedule the IUI for the following afternoon. Depending on how things look and if the follicles are still there, we'll do another IUI the next day.

I am hopeful this time. If it doesn't work, we'll just try again. I feel like the stress factor isn't there as much this time, mainly because I know I can get pregnant and have a baby. Before, each time it didn't work, my fear was that it was never going to happen. Now don't get me wrong. I know myself. If it doesn't work I will be sad, but I hope not as devastated as I used to get. And for some reason, if I can't get pregnant this time, or if it looks like it will be detrimental to my health because of my kidney, I'll be OK with it. I have my Jordyn. She is everything I ever wanted or needed. I want so much for her to have a brother or sister, and need to know I did everything I could to try and give her one.

So keep your fingers crossed for us. Hope for us. Hope that the journey to Baby #2 is an easy one, and the end result produces a healthy baby. And that mommy stays healthy. And sane.