Please can we get some good news??

I haven't posted for a few weeks. I've been in a funk. When I wrote my last post I had just gotten laid off and Jordyn was recovering from a stomach bug. Things only got worse once April arrived.

First, the lovely chief of police decided all shifts should bump to another shift so that night shift guys could experience day shift, and vice versa. So after getting screwed at the end of the year and having to do a 4 month night shift assignment, N and his entire shift were put on night shift for 3 months. Fabu. It sucks on many levels, but mostly for N because it messes up his body clock. There are a host of other reasons it sucks, but I'll leave that alone for now. Then mom came to visit from NY, which was great. Jordyn had finally started feeling better in the middle of mom's visit, so by the end she was back to her normal fun self. Mom left on a Monday. That Friday night, I went in to check on Jordyn before I went to bed. I was shocked to find vomit in her crib! I was alone since N was at work, so I got her up and brought her into the bathroom to clean her up. As we were sitting on the bathroom floor, she puked her guts up. Macaroni and cheese and grapes are not fun on the other end. She was shaking and felt very hot, so I took her temp and it was 102. She continued to throw up every 45 minutes until 3am. Her fever was almost 103. First thing Sat morning I called the dr and took her in to see him. He did an exam and as he listened to her lungs he said they sounded really "junky." He recommended a blood test and chest xray - thankfully they have a lab in their office and were there on sat. Her white blood cells were over 20,000 and her chest xray showed spots on her lungs. After everything my poor girl has been through, she was diagnosed with pneumonia. He gave her a shot of antibiotics and a prescription for oral antibiotics and alternating tylenol and motrin for the fever. All day all she did was lay on me - she was burning up and I felt so bad for her. By 6pm her fever broke and she was feeling much better. So we were resigned to time at home for her to heal. Thankfully the antibiotics worked and she didnt need to be admitted to the hospital for oxygen or anything.

As we were on the mend, I got a call from Mom that Grandma wasn't doing well. She's been in a nursing home with dementia for the last 4 years and had recently taken a turn for the worse. So we were waiting to see what would happen. The Saturday before Easter Jordyn was feeling better so I took her to the community Easter egg hunt by our new house. Let me jsut say I love my new neighborhood. Jordyn had a blast gathering eggs - I have lots of great pics but of course have not downloaded them yet. We came home and my mom called - Grandma had passed away. So we dropped everything, booked flights and all headed to NY the next day because the funeral was Monday. I was concerned about traveling with Jordyn since she was still recovering and was still on antibiotics, but she did great.

We are back home and Jordyn is doing great. I finally took her to school yesterday - she had been out for 2 whole weeks! She had a good day, and when I came to pick her up her teacher took me aside and said she had to talk to me. She wanted to let me know some kids in the adjacent toddler class had hand-foot-mouth disease and strep. Great, next thing for me to look forward to.

I finally updated my resume yesterday and sent it out to a few places. I am in such a funk because honestly, I just don't know what I want to do. I could fill my days spending time with Jordyn, cooking, cleaning, yoga, volunteer work, etc. But now that we have this big beautiful house, I have to find a job so I can pay for it. It sucks, because if we never moved we could have made it work on one salary. I never expected to get laid off so we went ahead with the home purchase. In the end I know it was the right thing to do, but right now I feel so helpless and unhappy - I just don't know how to handle it all. I mean seriously, how much is one person expected to handle?

I really need something good to happen, and fast.